Allow Yourself To Take Control Of Your Anger, And Be Proactive Rather Than Reactive
NB: Online Coaching Available During Lockdown
Anger will grab you in it’s grip unexpectedly during challenging times, escalating to arguments with your loved ones, or your work colleagues. Over time many factors contribute to your anger such as: road rage, financial strain, stress, worries, insecurities, self-doubt and usually much hurt from shame, guilt and regret. The build up of the emotions all contribute to additional irritation, frustration, anger and eventually rage.
The mind becomes more and more busy with self talk about what you did or said. The emotions from the anger, before and after cause your energy to drop leaving you with less will power to be rational during challenging times, resulting in the grip tightening up more than before. When your energy drops your mental and physical well-being will also eventually deteriorate.
Call it lack of Anger Management, call it ego. Either way uncontrolled anger can destroy relationships, careers, businesses and respect for one another.
How I Let go of My Anger for good
As I have experienced anger myself in my past, I understand what it is like to be filled with anger and to have to release it by either taking it out on the one’s you love the most, or those your anger is aimed at. However the more anger you put out there the more you get back in other ways which affects your life, your career or even your relationships.
Once your anger is released, you have to live with the environment you have created. Then comes the regrets, guilt, worry, stress and much more which only escalates. These emotions take control of you causing you to judge yourself which then creates more anger within you. It is vicious circle of anger that does not end until you deal with it.
It has only been through the processes and tools I use in Coaching today, that helped me to overcome my anger. I no longer allow my emotions to control me, instead I take control and make rational choices best for myself and those I love.
How This Anger Management Program Works For You, To Achieve Lasting Results
By following the Anger Management Program with Inspirational Futures, you will be in control of your anger as you will have the emotional intelligence to be rational and proactive during challenging times. This will fortunately free you from the grips of irritation, frustration, anger and rage which will favorably enrich your relationships with family, friends, colleagues and ultimately, you and your life.
Using NLP the triggers are identified during the Coaching sessions and collapse them. This will raise your energy which then helps you to be more rational in challenging times that previously would have made you angry. In this way your emotional intelligence is raised and you are better equipped mentally, knowing how to control your anger in challenging situations.
The focus of Coaching is to achieve your desired outcomes through a variety of the most suitable tailor made unique techniques, which assist to observe behavioral and linguistic patterns through various processes of assessing:
- existing thoughts and emotions
- existing obstacles which stop us from doing what we want to do
- existing fears
- personal limitations and negative thinking
- the self-image
The most important outcome is for you to overcome obstacles in order to reach your preferred and desired goals. Call me now for Anger Management Coaching in Johannesburg
Understand the Causes of Anger
You find yourself in a situation feeling you have lost control, people are not listening to you, and there appears to be no way to resolve the problem unless you have an outburst because this is the only way you can voice your opinion. This is usually what comes up when talking to my clients when we discuss the causes of Anger.
The emotions are usually those which start with irritation, then lead to frustration and on to Anger and worst case scenario, can eventually lead to rage if it is not already at this stage.
The causes of your anger originates from deep emotions which began at a young age. The pattern continues over time and the emotions build up. As the emotions build up the anger takes control of you rather than you being in control of your own emotions. You become irrational and you are reactive, rather than rational and proactive through challenging times.
Where do Anger Issues Stem from
When seeking ways on how to manage Anger, it is important to note that Anger issues stem from:
- Experiences from childhood;
- Your upbringing;
- Past experiences which you have not properly dealt with;
- Current circumstances on the outside world such as work, relationships, road rage, stress;
- Traumatic experiences;
Anger issues can be resolved through emotional intelligence which is part of the processes used in Transformation Coaching.
How Anger Disorders Affects Your Body and Mind
- Anger builds up more and more over time and doesn’t go away without proven techniques to manage your anger;
- The angrier you become, the more resentful you become which impacts on your life, and physical well being;
- Anger affects all your relationships and can affect your career as per the example given above regarding the TV presenters
- Built up anger leads to stress and illness
Anger Disorders can also have an effect on your body and mind, resulting in an inability to adequately manage your emotions. Physical symptoms of anger disorders, which may be experienced are:
- Chronic pain
- Physical disability
- Premenstrual Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder
- Temporal Lobe Epilepsy
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Anger Management Classes For Individuals and Small Groups
Anger Management Classes are available with me, where Transformation Coaching processes are practiced, either on a one-on-one basis or in a small group where corporate’s request Anger Management Classes for their employees.
Short term Measures on How to Control Anger
There are various methods on how to control anger and are the most commonly used:
- Breathing techniques – Take deep breaths from the lungs. The out breath must take longer than the in breath;
- Emotions – Speak from a rational and proactive point of view. Stop allowing your emotions to control you and be in control of your own ship;
- Quiet space – Choose to take yourself out of the situation by going to sit in a quiet space. Take several deep breaths until you feel you have calmed down. This also helps to quieten the mind and thoughts;
- Expectations – Drop expectations of how you believe things should be. Remember the more you try and control a situation the more you lose control;
- Communicate – rational communication is more effective and provides results. Take the time to calm down before you communicate to solve the issue at hand.
The above-mentioned are a few ways on how to control your anger when there is no immediate help available, however in order to control your anger it is advisable to seek professional help. As a Transformational Life Coach I specialise in Anger Management which clients have confirmed in their testimonials, have benefited them successfully.
How to Deal with Anger on the Receiving End
Dealing with anger and being on the receiving end is challenging and even frustrating for you. Unfortunately it feels that you must always be the strong one when dealing with someone who has anger issues. It is however best to not ‘entertain’ the person that is raging their anger at you, as it can get out of hand if the person is in an angry state.
When you are face to face with someone whose anger is becoming out of control, the best way on how deal with anger is:
- Remain calm – remember the calmer you are, the fewer emotions there are to ‘fuel the fire’
- Stop reacting to any random comments, personal attacks, shouting, irrational comments. The angry person is not in a good space and is seeking your reaction. The more you react, the worse the situation can become;
- Communicate – Ask the person to take time out to calm down and agree to return to the discussion once they have calmed down. If the person is under the influence of alcohol, take measures to talk to the person when they are no longer under the influence of alcohol;
- Professional help – Anger can possibly escalate over time and progressively get worse. If this is happening it is best to suggest to the person to seek Life Coaching where psychotherapy is available i.e. Behavior therapy, Cognitive therapy and holistic therapy. As I myself have experienced anger, I understand what they go through and will offer support as well as Coaching and Mentoring to deal with their anger.