For those on the receiving end, I (Life Coach in Johannesburg) understand what you are going through, and how that can create feelings of depression and anxiety.

The pain is intense when you find out your spouse or partner is having an affair.  You feel you are not good enough, and the person having the affair thrives on this.  It makes them stronger and you weaker.  And this is one of many reasons why we stay in such an abusive relationship.

The pain, low self-esteem, insecurities, and self-sabotage cause you to stay and the behavior of this affair is strengthened.  You feel have lost control and you have if you give in to the lies and deceit by your partner.  Besides having their bread buttered on both sides, they believe it’s okay to bring you to your knees, and the problem is that you allow it

Then why do we allow it?  Our self-esteem is low already and, in many cases, narcissists are drawn to those with low self-esteem.  They are often there to teach you your value and worth.  It does not mean you must stay in an abusive relationship if you don’t want to.  The best thing you can do for you is to work on yourself and raise your self-esteem.

  How to raise your self-esteem in 7 Uplifting Steps:

  1. Start the journey of raising your self-esteem and don’t give up until you know, that kind of behaviour is unhealthy for you and those around you;
  2. Read self-help books that make you feel good about yourself;
  3. Stop ‘people-pleasing’ and start putting yourself first. This also means that you must know your values and what’s most important to you;
  4. Change your thought process to believe you are good enough. If you struggle to do so, then find a professional like me who does Life Coaching in Johannesburg, or online,  to help you through this;
  5. Learn to love yourself again. Enough to be kind to yourself;
  6. Go to professionals who offer results and they have testimonials that offer results (see if you choose to have a look at mine;
  7. Know that you deserve better and whichever way your relationship goes, once your self-esteem has grown, you will be in a balanced relationship.

There is a life after being in an abusive relationship.  It’s a wonderful journey when you raise your self-esteem only to discover who you truly are. Make the change today to step away from depression and anxiety.  If I can raise my self-esteem to the point of believing in myself, feeling good enough, and knowing who I am, which I have achieved more than I ever expected to, then so can you.  I have experienced it and done it, and I can help you (as a Life Coach in Johannesburg or online coaching) to achieve this too.  Contact me today on 061-563-0916 or by e-mail at to raise your self-esteem to all new levels of possibilities.