There is no survival adaptive benefit to being your own worst enemy, judging yourself, sabotaging yourself, comparing yourself to others all bring self-love to an end triggering depression.

Facing many challenges from the outside world, you find your self-worth is based on your grades or test scores.   Advertisements tell us that we need to buy things to be loved, accepted, or succeed.  Besides that, parents tell us they would love us more if we made the rugby or hockey or cricket team.

How you know when you don’t love yourself:

  • Lose your self-identity – I don’t know who I am
  • Stop living according to your values
  • Feel you don’t get any attention
  • Not happy with physical appearance
  • Feel you not good enough
  • Feel you are not worthy of love and look for love on the outside world
  • Those who have experienced physical or verbal abuse will usually question their worth
  • Self-worth is tied to our accomplishments and possessions
  • Stop looking outside of yourself for validation and comparing yourself. A feeling of competition and feeling of scarcity
  • Believing that your happiness comes from the external world rather than your internal world

How to raise your self-love:

  • Forgive yourself in an honest and kind way – usually angry with ourselves due to past mistakes. Acknowledge and accept what has happened. Acceptance releases us from blaming ourselves and others.
  • Practice self-acceptance – you believe that you change your body, personality, the way you think and do things. You are worthy just the way you are
  • Be there for yourself when life gets rough – we tend to abandon ourselves during difficult times. I see how badly you are hurting. Acknowledge your feelings. Say kind things to yourself.
  • Connect to supportive people – When something goes wrong we tend to pull away from people. Helps us to get in touch with humanity and our sense of self-worth.
  • Love and accept everything about you – Our purpose is to evolve and the best way to evolve is to learn from our mistakes and move on. Acceptance is very healing.
  • Stop judging yourself and comparing yourself to others – this takes up unnecessary energy. Therefore, use your energy on yourself to see the best in you.  It is there, you just have to find it.
  • Random acts of kindness – always help you to feel better and love yourself for the good you do.
  • Embrace yourself to find your self-worth – Your path is not straight or smooth but it is a journey of life.

By creating beliefs and emotion you have and will continue to create neural pathways from all the stories we have told ourselves, all the experiences where we made ourselves the bad guy.  Stop doing this and start telling yourself a new loving story about yourself.

Most importantly, remember always that you deserve to be alive, to be loved and cared for. You must start with yourself though which means to stop expecting or wanting it to come from the external world.  Allow it to come from your inner world where lays the inner truth about the fabulous person you are.  Transformational Coaching can advance the process quicker for you to get you to a place of courage and self-acceptance.  Book your free session now.

Also, see the Hang out with Experts page for Dana Prophet’s talk on 8 Simple Steps to Create the Life You’ll Love on the 4th of September 2019