What is your relationship with your mother, and how might it have contributed to low self-esteem? You may carry feelings of a mother’s absence, abandonment, guilt, overprotection, or the pressure to be perfect because you were never allowed to fail. Yet failure is essential. It is through making mistakes that we learn and grow.
Reflecting on my childhood, I remember it as a good one, from a conscious perspective. However, from a subconscious perspective, I now recognise ways in which I was subtly controlled, without realising it at the time. From a young age, I was deeply concerned about what others thought of me and feared judgment. Thus breaking down my self-esteem.
This is not intended as a judgment of my mother. It is rather an illustration of how a child can experience early influences unknowingly, and how these experiences can impact those who struggle with low self-esteem.
For example, a mother who is overly controlling and strict often acts out of love. Her intention may be to protect her child from experiencing the hardships she herself endured. Through this form of love, however, control and overprotection can unintentionally stifle a child’s sense of self-worth and independence.
Carl Jung observed that the mother is the first archetypal image of the world. When the person who should have offered the deepest love instead expresses control, perfectionism, or conditional approval, the child’s sense of safety and self-esteem can be compromised. As children, we often idealise our mothers, believing they are perfect, because, at that stage, they are all we know. Yet no parent is perfect.
Problems we face now are from wounds of our past
The wounds of our past flow into adulthood, inevitably showing up in our careers and relationships. There will always be someone who seems to “push your buttons.” These are your emotional triggers — signals pointing to unresolved wounds from your past.
Understanding and acknowledging these triggers is a powerful step toward healing. By recognising your roots without blame, you can liberate yourself from the emotional burdens tied to your relationship with your mother. When you do this, you will experience greater peace, acceptance, and a profound sense of relief.
Healing these early wounds paves the way for stronger self-esteem, healthier relationships, and a life lived with more ease, authenticity, and joy. To experience a raised self-esteem as well as peace of mind, click here now to contact Debbie for one free 45-minute session.
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