As a Transformation Coach in Johannesburg, I see how clients have self-sabotaged which led them into states of anger, anxiety-causing some to become depressed. You know what you want for yourself and will pursue a task with good intentions, but then allow your beliefs or emotions to get in the way and self-sabotage.
Beating yourself up following self-sabotage
After the failure of the task at hand, the realisation that it could have been a success if you hadn’t self-sabotaged it, weighs on your mind heavily. Afterward, you beat yourself up with feelings of regret, anger, hate, disappointment in yourself build-up, only fuelling anxiety and possibly even depression. The habits continue time and time again as you don’t seem to learn the lesson until maybe, a tough lesson hits you unexpectedly.
Understanding the mind and its power
The pattern of behavior caused by beliefs, habits, and emotions must be changed. Believing that you will never be successful will become your reality, and you will never be successful. Your mind will do it’s best to stop your progress. The Reticular Activating System (RAS) located in the brain to mediate behavior, is what will keep you in your comfort zone. It is designed to pursue your happiness. Which is to keep you in our comfort zone.
There are various reasons why you may self-sabotage:
- fear of losing someone or something
- the fear of having what you might feel you don’t deserve
- remaining in your comfort zone
- not taking risks that will have a ripple effect on you
- changing may mean you become a different person and you are scared of change
- you want to remain in control of where you at in your life
- not having to follow through for the fear of failure or an unexpected outcome
- you fear the same bad experiences of the past
- worry and fear the future
- fearing success and fearing failure
When I fail I get attention, however when I succeed people don’t notice me or what I have done. The mind notices this pattern, causing you to create new habits and strategies. According to Tony Robbins, we self-sabotage for a positive intention.
I recently watched a movie called ‘Brian Banks’ and the actor Morgan Freeman taught Brian that if you change your mindset, your arse will follow. This truth can set you free if you just choose to believe it.
What to do with your realisations to improve your life
You have to eliminate painful experiences to stop the habits and strategies you put yourself in, to self-sabotage. Take notice of what your mind is telling you and change the story. Begin a new story. If you feel that you have to do something you don’t want to do but this is the only way to achieve your goals, then see it as a journey. A journey that is on the way rather than a journey that is in the way.
Proven techniques to stop self-sabotage
With the proven processes of my coaching techniques and in my practice as a Transformation Coach in Johannesburg, I can find the reasons behind why you self-sabotage. Letting go of all that stops you from achieving and making a success of your life, is what we can focus on together in the coaching. By doing this you will move to the next level in your life. Set your sites on what you want, release the habits of self-sabotage so that you may have all you deserve.
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